What It Was Like Trying To Find Something On The Internet In The ’90s

Seriously. How many search engines on this “World Wide Web” is it going to take?

1. You need to find something. First, you’re like: Screw this shit.

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2. You could go to the library, but they’re NEVER OPEN.

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3. Dad’s Encyclopedia Britannica collection? Books: ugh.

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4. So you try looking on Yahoo. Ugh…what is all this random stuff?

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5. Maybe Excite will be better? No…

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6. You should try HotBot. They update their listings WAY more often. (Or so I hear.)

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7. Did you try Lycos? It’s one of those crawler ones. You want the crawl.

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8. What about InfoSeek? They have…what’s it called? Hooligan? Oh, Boolean. Yeah, they have that.

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9. Still nothing? What about AltaVista. They have all the sites. I think.

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10. Why aren’t you searching on Dogpile. Hello! They take the searches from all the other searches and then it’s all the stuff.

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11. Ugh, that was overwhelming. There’s this refined gentleman who appears to know a lot. Did you Ask Jeeves? You did? Yeah, his answers kind of suck.

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12. Well there is this new thing I heard of called…Google? I know Goo-gle. Hahahaha.

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13. Getting closer? You can always check this book. Or call 411. Or just ask your cool history teacher who knows everything.

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