1. Saved by the Bell
A guess at what it’s about: Zack and Screech accidentally live-Tweet a Bayside basketball game from Zack’s dad’s company account. Zack’s dad is now in big trouble for supposedly making suggestive comments about teenage cheerleaders.
2. Full House
A guess at what it’s about: Michelle’s teddy bear goes missing but is later found in the washing machine thanks to Danny Tanner’s OCD needs to clean everything; Stephanie wears a crop top to school and chaos ensues.
3. The Secret World of Alex Mack
A guess at what it’s about: As a girl who can transform into a mobile puddle of goo, “Alex’s worst nightmare” must be getting into a tiff with one of those wet/dry vacuums.
A guess at what it’s about: In Two Hearts, Brenda breaks up with Dylan, then gets back together with him. In Which Way to the Beach?, the gang gets lost after Kelly was put in charge of the map.
5. 7th Heaven
A guess at what it’s about: In Middle Sister, Lucy locks herself in her room after Mary is allowed living room kissing privileges. In Drive You Crazy, Mary has a wine cooler and drives.
6. Welcome Back, Kotter
A guess at what it’s about: In The Super Sweathogs, Juan Epstein has a note and Mr. Kotter actually believes it’s real. In The Sweathog Newshawks, Vinnie pens an editorial for the Sweathog Times about MILFs.
7. Dawson’s Creek
A guess at what it’s about: In Don’t Scream, Dawson enlists everyone to play parts in his slasher movie…except someone actually gets hurt. (Spoiler alert: It’s Abby.) In Calm Before the Storm, a hurricane is headed for Capeside. It hits, and everyone agonizes over whether they should have sex during the storm.
A guess at what it is about: Over the summer, Felicity must work the cheese counter at Dean & Deluca with Ben. Will she be able to resist a taste?
A guess at what it’s about: Angelica enslaves Tommy and Chuckie. Eventually, they realize this is not polite.
A guess at what it’s about: In Trippin’ Out, Mo has been planning a special road trip for ages, but Kim takes over and it turns into five hours of stalking Hakeem. In House Party!, Moesha tries to throw a party without her parents finding out. Myles ruins everything.
11. Sabrina the Teenage Witch
A guess at what it’s about: In Go Fetch!, a detective hired by Friskies starts stalking Salem. In Lotsa Luck, Sabrina is bad at magic.
12. Lizzie McGuire
A guess at what it’s about: For New Kid in School, sorry, but the actual synopsis is JUST TOO GOOD. There’s a new student, “a mysterious kid who just returned from Fiji. He’s already made a movie with Steven Spielberg, skipped three grades, and taught Britney Spears how to dance.” When Moms Attack is probably about Lizzie’s mom taking away her headphones on a family trip because she’s not participating in family time.
13. Are You Afraid of the Dark?
A guess at what it’s about: In The Tale of the Virtual Nightmare, a gamer must figure out how to stop being such a nerd; he ultimately finds new joy in kickball. In The Tale of the Nightly Neighbors, a kid is convinced his neighbors are ghosts; turns out they are just squatters.
14. Family Ties
A guess at what it’s about: Alex finally gets it on with his girlfriend. Mallory and Nick get lost for seven hours at the mall. Elyse makes pot brownies.
15. Growing Pains
A guess at what it’s about: Maggie Seaver starts investigating coke parties on college campuses. Dr. Jason Seaver starts treating a nymphomaniac who is coming on to him. Nobody cares about Ben, and Mike chooses to be written out of this book due to his Christian convictions.
- The Taliban has appointed Mullah Akhtar Mansour as its new Afghan leader.