10 Things About “The Baby-Sitters Club” That I Now Find Supremely Confusing

The TV version of the Ann M. Martin book series is now on Netflix. And it is giving me a heart attack.

Like countless other American girls, I read The Baby-Sitters Club book series. I was not obsessed, but I remember thinking this pack of middle schoolers who ran a baby-sitting business seemed pretty alright, especially that chick Claudia because she was “artsy.”

So along comes Netflix, updating its supply of Shows You’ve Already Seen and Shows You’ll Never Watch, with the single-season TV version of The Baby-Sitters Club. Yes, I will be part of the crowd who still labels The Baby-Sitters Club “awesome” in conversation, however after putting myself through several episodes, I now find I am confused and weirded out by the entire The Baby-Sitters Club concept. Allow me to explain.

1. So this “business” is a ring of minors running the entire baby-sitting industry in this town?

Well, actually, is it a “club” or is it a “business”? They conduct meetings and hold business hours with these official attitudes, except they all seem to be there because they love baby-sitting? I have issues with both of these things — how do 13-year-old girls manage to stay organized enough to run a business and on what planet do they relish spending their extra time with 2nd graders?

2. The money is for…what, exactly?

Obviously, these chicks are drumming up some great business and raking in some bucks. But no one seems to actually be profiting. They all have to pay dues to the club and then they’re seemingly always blowing their wad of cash on these things called “Kid Kits,” which contain craft supplies for the kids they baby-sit. But, as Stacey explains here, it was worth it because a boy who presumably still wets the bed made her a cool picture.

At least put it towards a Victoria’s Secret push-up bra that gets passed around.

3. Where’s the parental supervision?

I get that “Stoneybrook” is supposed to be a quiet, safe town. But imagine the following: Your 13-year-old daughter runs a baby-sitting business all on her own and is taking jobs from complete strangers (at least some of the time)? This thought is terrifying. Also, I don’t know about you, but when I was 13, I didn’t exactly make my own schedule without my parents giving me shit about it first.

4. Again, how is this fun for you???

This is my worst nightmare.

5. So the appeal had to be about boys, right?

I’m just confused by this Logan character. Is he southern? Have he and Mary Anne gotten to second base? Because he’s definitely her boyfriend and she keeps inviting him to baby-sit with her. Which, I mean…I’m not sure who lets a 13-year-old girl take care of their children when she’s there alone with her 13-year-old boyfriend.

6. But Kristy has some things to say on the matters of men.

She has a point. 13-year-old boys are nasty. I mean, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALAN GRAY EAT A SANDWICH? Gross.

7. And Kristy seems very protective of Mary Anne when it appears that Logan is cheating on her.

Kristy seems pretty convinced that this loser Logan is two-timing Mary Anne, and she also seems determined to expose the truth. It kind of seems like Kristy wants Mary Anne all to herself. Just sayin’.

8. Are these girls desperate to be adults, or what?

There’s a really bizarre complex going on here. The Baby-Sitters Club members seem to pride themselves on being able to do a grown-up’s job even better than an adult. Why be so enthusiastic about your supreme parenting abilities at only 13?

9. Or do they want to remain in childhood?

When Stacey starts modeling and it interferes with The Baby-Sitters Club, she decides to quit the beauty business. All their kid clients are putting on a play right now, and she has to be there! Maybe this is kind of like that awkward time when playing with Barbies wasn’t cool anymore but you still wanted to?

10. Either way, they can’t live without baby-sitting.

And I somehow don’t want to find out what would happen if Claudia had to give up The Baby-Sitters Club. Because it’s probably the apocalypse.

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