The 15 Types Of People Who Review The "Titanic" Soundtrack On Amazon

    FYI, it's not just teenage girls on their period in 1997. It's you. Now.

    1. The non-discerning critic: "the best songs on this soundtrack are all of them."

    2. The lady or man who needs to unwind to some flutes and bagpipes after a hard day at the office.

    Celine Dion, "My Heart Will Go On"

    3. The person who thinks all CDs are great because they work.

    4. The person who uses the "Titanic" soundtrack to rev up before committing dark and evil crimes against humanity.

    James Horner, "Rose"

    5. The guy who may have actually been on the Titanic: "takes u back to 1912."

    6. The poet.

    James Horner, "The Dream"

    7. James Horner fans who address their reviews to him because Horner definitely reads Amazon reviews.

    8. The kid who thought the movie was "informative."

    James Horner, "Hymn to the Sea"

    9. The lady who still doesn't have a Discman in 2002.

    10. The guy who thinks James Horner is a motherfucking genius. (Code name: Hamlet.)

    James Horner, "Leaving Port"

    11. The person writing an Amazon review as he/she is watching "Titanic" right now and bawling.

    12. The guy who owns only one other movie soundtrack.

    James Horner, "Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Leave"

    13. A 13-year-old on her period in 1999.

    14. it is still my best son

    James Horner, "Take Her to Sea, Mr. Murdoch"

    15. Celine drools, Goo Goo Dolls RULEZ!

    James Horner, "The Portrait"