1. Find ways to express your anger that don't involve verbally assaulting everyone around you.
2. Sometimes, you have to rely on self-promotion.
3. Life isn't fair.
4. Admit when you're unqualified to give advice.
5. Everyone needs quiet time.
6. You can't let your problems eclipse your life or effect those around you.
7. Never, ever get a big tattoo without a seriously long consideration period.
8. Do everything you can for your friends.
9. Everyone has had a shit job or a shit boss. But remember there are always things to be learned.
10. Never, ever look for sex on Craigslist.
11. At the end of the day, you've got to hug it out.
12. Grab life by the balls.
13. Even the most high powered human beings must sometimes resort to begging.
14. Never, ever forget your mother.
15. Don't make promises you can't keep.
16. When you need to make a big decision, you can always go trip on shrooms in the desert.
17. You can't hold on to lost opportunities or grudges.
18. Men and women alike should always try to understand the female psyche.
19. Stop worrying about what others think.
20. Celebrate your accomplishments.
21. Money and fame isn't everything...
22. ...But friends are.
OH YEAH.