1. Any time a cop stops you, you’d just offer a sheepish smile and move on.
2. People would be totally honest. You’d never again wonder why he didn’t text you back.
3. This man would be your biggest fan.
4. Getting rid of annoying people would be as easy as this. And you’ve always wanted to do this.
5. Folks would make fun of old people. And old people are hilarious.
6. People would actually say out loud the things they’re thinking.
7. In moments of loneliness, you could find comfort in a substitute companion like this stuffed, headless human form.
9. People might burst out of cakes and pieces of it might land on your face.
10. Hey, guess what? This guy is a movie star! And he’ll fall in love with you, Normal Girl.
11. In this man’s eyes, you’d always be just slightly older than 16. And it wouldn’t even be creepy!
12. If you got a job as a fashion model, you wouldn’t even have to walk the catwalk, you’d just pretend to be a statue.
13. You could make out in front of your friends.
- U.S. President Barack Obama and leaders from 20 nations called for doubling clean energy research funding over the next five years at the Paris climate summit 🌍 ›
- The man accused in Friday's Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado made his first court appearance. Charges are expected to be formally filed on Dec. 9. ›
- And there's a hilarious new rap meme of Pope Francis, thanks to a photo taken over the weekend of him giving his blessing 🙏🎤 ›