This is how Dawson parties: He goes to a jazz bar, gets drunk with Andie McPhee, and passive-aggressively sings “the blues” with these highly inventive lyrics…
2. Pacey: Master of the Forehead Kiss, Ruler of Foreheads.
Dawson: The boy who can’t kiss someone without having it be ridiculously orchestrated. UGH.
4. When it comes to giving you a gift, Pacey will spend his hard-earned money on something much more meaningful and inventive. He’ll buy you a wall so that you can explore your inner budding artist.
Here’s Dawson’s idea of giving a gift — he just gives you his man jewelry. Doesn’t even spend any money.
5. When you need to talk things out, Pacey will eloquently remind you that you are a beautiful, gentle flower, deserving of all the love in the world.
Dawson can’t even deal.
You did NOT just say that, Dawson. Ew.
6. While Pacey generally spends his time winning at life…
Dawson spends his time brooding, paralyzed by a fear of never achieving Spielberg greatness.
Get a new dream, dude!
7. When it comes to being handy, Pacey can restore and fix a whole boat.
…meanwhile Dawson is on his period pretty much every day.
OMG, the world is not ending, OK?
9. In the beauty pageant episode, we witnessed Pacey’s unexpected talent for acting dramatic monologues in Scottish accents.
11. When it comes to losing one’s virginity, Pacey goes straight for his hot teacher.
Yes. With. His. Teacher.
Dawson pretty much begs for it.