21 Swimsuits You Probably Shouldn't Try To Swim In

Not to mention the weird tan lines.

1. Minimale Animale Outsider Mesh Bikini

Via nastygal.com

Yeah, like those palm trees will stay in place.

Nasty Gal, $230.

2. Amuse Society Angie Sequin Bralette Bikini Top

Via urbanoutfitters.com

Have you ever rubbed your arm against the sequin grain? Imagine that wet.

Urban Outfitters, $68.

3. One Teaspoon Abbey Lee Bikini Top

Via nastygal.com

Two words: WET. LEATHER.

Nasty Gal, $100.

4. Black Faux Leather Lace Up Monokini Swimsuit

Via amiclubwear.com

Somehow we feel wet pleather would be even worse.

Ami Clubwear, $57.19.

5. Black Printed Mesh Elastic Two Piece Swimsuit

Via lollicouture.com

You're gonna love the feel of damp mesh against your skin.

Lolli Couture, $32.99.

6. Bathing Beauty One-Piece Swimsuit in Royal Velvet

Via modcloth.com

"Wet Velvet" sounds like the band your weird neighbor keeps inviting you to see because he knows the drummer.

ModCloth, $89.99.

7. Honey Deep Plunge Bikini Set

Via yourlamode.com

And "Wet Faux Suede" is the opener.

YourLaMode, $78.99.

8. Indah Marjan Fringe Bikini Top

Via urbanoutfitters.com

You're gonna look so good when a wave slaps those bad boys in your face.

Urban Outfitters, $154.

9. Micro Mini Thong Swimsuit

Via aliexpress.com

"Micro mini" indeed.

AliExpress, $23.99.

10. Furry Delight Bikini Set

Via dollskill.com

Unless you want to take your wet dog look to the ~next level~.

Dolls Kill, $21.80.

11. Stuns 'n Roses Scuba Bikini Top

Via nastygal.com

Well this significantly limits your range of motion...

Nasty Gal, $75.

12. Nikita Buckle Bikini Bottom

Via opensky.com

Just what wet leather was missing: Scalding hot metal buttons.

Open Sky, $69.

13. Cannonball Contest Swimsuit Top

Via modcloth.com

Those seem like a choking hazard.

Modcloth, $57.99.

14. Indah Siri Rubber Fringe Bikini Top

Via nastygal.com

OK, to be fair, your front crawl would be EXTREMELY badass in this.

Nasty Gal, $255.

15. Silver Metallic High Waist Deep Plunge Swimsuit

Via asos.com

I mean, if you're spilling out of it just standing there...

ASOS, $54.37.

16. Savage Art Metal Bikini

Via opensky.com

Far from water friendly, and you might also cut yourself in maybe the worst places imaginable.

Open Sky, $575.

17. Savor the Sunshine Swimsuit Top

Via modcloth.com

Aw, these ruffles would be so sad and droopy after a dip.

Modcloth, $54.99.

18. Anna Kosturova Modernista Shortkini

Via dollskill.com

It would be like swimming in the sweater grandma knitted you! (Sorry to bring your grandma into this...)

Dolls Kill, $150.

19. Bling Bikini Veil

Via etsy.com

You know what, by the end of a bachelorette party, you should be drunk enough to swim in this.

Etsy, $19.95.

20. Monokini With Chains

Via yourlamode.com

😶

YourLaMode, $58.99.

21. Swimmable Mermaid Tail

Via etsy.com

OK, it may say "swimmable," but really, how far do you think you'd get?

Etsy, $30.