33 Essentials If Meat Is The Only Thing That Matters

    If you're not pulling pork with meat claws, you're not doing it right.

    Lauren Paul
    by Lauren Paul

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    1. Bear Claw Meat Shredders

    surlatable.com

    Unleash the beast within. Get 'em here.

    2. Corn Dog Maker

    amazon.com

    Classic fair food at home? Win.

    3. Bacon Condoms

    baconsalt.3dcartstores.com
    baconsalt.3dcartstores.com

    So in demand, you need to get on the waiting list.

    4. USB Heated Lunch Box

    amazon.com

    Enjoy the meaty desk lunch you've always dreamed of.

    5. Tactical BBQ Fork With Laser AND Flashlight

    lemproducts.com
    lemproducts.com

    Approach your grilling with skill and precision, even at night!

    6. "0% Vegetarian" Tank

    lookhuman.com

    And 100% hungry. Get one here.

    7. iDevice Bluetooth Meat Thermometer

    amazon.com

    Because just reading a thermometer is so 2008. Get it here.

    8. Brass Knuckles Meat Tenderizer

    shopplasticland.com

    I PITY THE POULTRY. Get one here.

    9. Jikaro Fire Ring Table

    amazon.com

    Turn your fire pit into a fine grilling experience. Get it here.

    10. Mini Sliders Burger Maker

    amazon.com

    Keep 'em coming. Buy it here.

    11. The Pig Pig Pig Shower Curtain

    society6.com

    Go hog wild. Get it here.

    12. Machete Spatula

    firebox.com

    You need a spatula worthy of your ninja-like grilling abilities.

    13. Splash Chopping Board

    amazon.com

    Suddenly it will seem all your meat is extra rare.

    14. Ron Swanson Cutting Board

    etsy.com

    Perfect for preparing your bacon-wrapped turkey legs. Get it here.

    15. Meat Print Panel Hat

    etsy.com

    Encase your head in tastiness. Get it here.

    16. Beef Jerky Gun & Seasoning

    lemproducts.com
    lemproducts.com

    Make your own perfectly seasoned jerky! Kit here.

    17. Exotic Meats Jerkygram

    mancrates.com

    Or send your dearest carnivore (so, yourself) some ~exotic~ jerky, like alligator or kangaroo!

    18. Meaty iPhone Case

    society6.com

    For your ~juicy~ conversations. Get it here.

    19. Activated Charcoal for All-Black Burgers

    instructables.com
    amazon.com

    Use (totally safe!) activated charcoal to make these "Purgatory Burgers" and terrify friends and family.

    20. Trongs

    amazon.com

    Finger tongs for finger foods! Genius.

    21. Pig Butcher Diagram

    etsy.com

    Learn your way around a hog.

    22. Football Salami

    normthompson.blair.com

    Yup. You need this.

    23. T-Bone Steak Stud Earrings

    etsy.com

    Adorn yourself in meaty goodness.

    24. Balcony Barbecue Grill

    urbanoutfitters.com
    thisiswhyimbroke.com

    No yard? No problem! For the meat-loving city-dweller.

    25. Canned Dragon Meat

    thinkgeek.com

    The deadliest game out there. Order some at your own risk.

    26. The Ham Dogger

    amazon.com

    Is it a hamburger? A hot dog? BOTH?! Get it here.

    27. Pig Bacon Press

    williams-sonoma.com||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-

    Because pressing bacon keep it from shriveling and shrinking, ensuring maximum crispiness.

    28. Meat LOVE Wall Clock

    society6.com

    Meat loves you.

    29. Desktop Carnivorous Plant Set

    thinkgeek.com
    thinkgeek.com

    Admire the master carnivores at work. Get one here!

    30. Notebook Charcoal Grill

    amazon.com
    amazon.com

    Folds up into a sleek portable grill! Get it here.

    31. Narwhal Barbecue Skewers

    glukkake.bigcartel.com
    glukkake.bigcartel.com

    Narwhals: Nautical masters of barbecue. Get 'em here.

    32. Cheeseburger Lunch Bag

    madlabsny.com

    Because your bag should always match your meal.

    33. Monogrammed Forged Steak Brand

    williams-sonoma.com||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-

    Make sure everyone knows who grilled those perfect hunks of meat.