The 25 Most Absurd Moments Of The Olympic Opening Ceremony

In the course of this totally bizarre ceremony, 25 moments stood above the rest.

1. Kenneth Branagh played a fanciful, ever-present British Abe Lincoln, aka British railway engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel. (Which is a great name.)

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2. Men in tophats danced.

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3. The Industrial Revolution happened.

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4. Men in tophats did something weird with their hands.

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5. British Abe Lincoln stood in some sort of magic circle.

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6. Suffragists appeared out of nowhere.

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7. Sgt. Peppers’ Lonely Hearts Club Band showed up in like, the 1800s.

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8. See? Back to the Industrial Revolution.

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9. James Bond showed up to fetch the Queen.

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10. The Royal Corgis helped.

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11. Then they tried to make us think that the Queen jumped out of a plane.

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12. Parachuted, in fact.

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13. The Queen was excited.

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14. Then there was a tribute to the National Health Service, of course.

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15. It involved real-life nurses, dressed up as nurses from some bygone era.

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16. Also, Mary Poppins(es).

MIKE BLAKE / Reuters
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17. Fighting Voldemort. I swear.

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18. See?

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20. Mr. Bean played music.

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22. And then he ran in the Chariots of Fire scene.

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24. After that, it was the DIGITAL AGE, which, in the eyes of the Olympics, basically involves texting and social media and that’s it. Teens kissed.

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25. And, uh, David Beckham showed up at the end. I’m telling you, it was weird.

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