The 25 Most Absurd Moments Of The Olympic Opening Ceremony
In the course of this totally bizarre ceremony, 25 moments stood above the rest.
1. Kenneth Branagh played a fanciful, ever-present British Abe Lincoln, aka British railway engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel. (Which is a great name.)
2. Men in tophats danced.
3. The Industrial Revolution happened.
4. Men in tophats did something weird with their hands.
5. British Abe Lincoln stood in some sort of magic circle.
6. Suffragists appeared out of nowhere.
7. Sgt. Peppers’ Lonely Hearts Club Band showed up in like, the 1800s.
8. See? Back to the Industrial Revolution.
9. James Bond showed up to fetch the Queen.
10. The Royal Corgis helped.
11. Then they tried to make us think that the Queen jumped out of a plane.
12. Parachuted, in fact.
13. The Queen was excited.
14. Then there was a tribute to the National Health Service, of course.
15. It involved real-life nurses, dressed up as nurses from some bygone era.
17. Fighting Voldemort. I swear.
18. See?
20. Mr. Bean played music.
22. And then he ran in the Chariots of Fire scene.
24. After that, it was the DIGITAL AGE, which, in the eyes of the Olympics, basically involves texting and social media and that’s it. Teens kissed.
25. And, uh, David Beckham showed up at the end. I’m telling you, it was weird.
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leeh8 9 months agoI loved the industrial revolution scene, my favourite moment was at the end of the pause of remembrance for those lost in the wars. The drums broke the mood with a feeling of relentless almost uncontrolled progress of Great Britain dragging the rest of the world into the modern era.
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kea718 9 months agoI didn’t get Abe Lincoln when I first saw Brunel, I was crossing my fingers for Charles Dickens… When he opened the book to start reading I was really hoping I’d get “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times….” or something. What a shame. My inner Dickens fangirl was disappointed. The worst part of the show was having to watch it on NBC and listening to Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer’s constant yapping. What a couple of obnoxious twits (or twats).
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michaelm60 9 months agoThe proper pluralization of “Mary Poppins” is “Marys Poppins” not “Mary Poppinses”
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HanRob 9 months agoI loved every second of our ceremony AND loved this post. It was indeed absurd, and irreverent, and moving, and bizarre and funny. It was riddled with impenetrable self-reference and in-jokes that this post knowingly (but I hope affectionately) pokes fun at. Sorry about some of my country-men, I hope the world knows that most of us Brists have a sense of humour.
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jackthegiantkiller 9 months agoHow could you not add the freaky billowing infant with the bisected head?
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your mom 9 months agoI think it’s highly comical that people are bitching that no one understands their humor while being overly offended at the “British Abe Lincoln” joke. Pot. Kettle. Black. I personally liked the Mary Poppins but I just can’t be arsed to watch television. I hardly watched the China ceremony.
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tom piquonne 9 months agoImagining America in a world without Brunel is almost as funny as Americans thinking Brunel is Abe Lincoln…
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