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The 17 Most Bizarre Moments From Nike’s China Basketball Commercial

Starring a kid named Dong Dong.

Nike China has a new basketball ad out, and, though it’s totally rad, it’s also more than a little bizarre.

1. The subtitles make for some strange moments. Give him an MC? Because that is a typical trapping of a successful basketball player?

Whoever the MC is, he’s wearing the kid’s face on his shirt.

2. Then he teams up with Chinese basketball giant and NBA washout Yi Jianlian. “THIS IS REASONABLE,” the announcer says, for no apparent reason.

3. Our boy gets to go to the NBA Draft, where some woman is standing behind him holding what looks like a travel brochure, and also he signs a pane of glass.

4. And plays with Kevin Durant in a videogame, where we find out that his name is the very emphatic Dong Dong. (Not just one Dong. Two Dongs. Dong Squared.)

5. After playing with KD in a videogame, he hangs out with Kobe and explodes.

6. Kobe reappears, wearing a shirt with Dong Dong’s face on it. (More shirts with his face on it to come.)

7. Also, he gets a weird-as-hell nickname: AIRWALKER. LIKE SKYWALKER, BUT LOWER.

8. Now begins a lighting-fast spurt of bizarre images, including: DD with pliers in front of a padlocked hoop(?)

9. DD appearing on a dating show(?)

10. DD dazzling the ladies with his dribbling prowess

11. THIS GUY, confronting DD and the woman who won his dating show(?)

12. THIS GUY AGAIN

13. DD shirt face + extreme close-up of an ecstatic girl’s face + gold chain

14. THIS OUTFIT

15. The DD action figure

16. And, finally, a pink cloud explosion.

17. So yeah, one last bizarre note: we end on an army of basketball players marching at the camera in slow-motion. China up.

18. Here’s the full ad.

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