"Hire Me Maybe!" A Song For The Charlotte Bobcats, The Worst Team In NBA History

MJ's boys had a season so bad, it can only be celebrated with a parody of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe." As with all Jepsen parodies, it's sung from the perspective of Bobcats coach Paul Silas.

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Lyrics

We traded Wallace away

And then let Matt Carroll play

Bismack Biyombo won't say

Why he's not returning my calls

Jordan hasn't paid me in months

Seven wins is the dumps

Stern called me a mump

And he won't return my calls

Charlotte's a hellhole

Gerald plays like Jello

I'd give an arm for Melo

DIAW STARTED TWENTY-EIGHT GAMES

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Hey, I hate Tyrus

And Diop's lazy

I'd go anywhere else

So hire me maybe!

I know we suck but

Have you seen my players?

I'd coach in the D-League

Just hire me maybe!

Sacramento, baby

Washington, oh hey guys

You can pay me in pretzels

Please hire me maybe!

I won't lie to you

Nobody seems to want me

But it's Kemba's fault

Just hire me maybe!

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Fifty-nine losses is tough

Mullens at center is rough

I've just about had enough

Of MJ blowing smoke in my face

Calling it tanking's a stretch

I don't mean to kvetch, but

None of my players can catch

A basketball thrown their way

Anthony Davis

Might be enough to help us

But you just know with our luck

THE LOTTERY WILL SCREW US OVER

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We play like penguins

Run the floor like children

I'll leave in a second

Just hire me maybe!

Jordan's a nutcase

D.J. Augustin hates me

We're like the anti-Monstars

Please hire me today!

None of our players

Had better than a

Fifteen PER

God, hire me maybe

Corey Maggette

Seriously?

Can you really blame me?

Please hire me today!

And here's the real Carly Rae Jepsen, singing "Call Me Maybe":