Chris Christie Fires Some Shots In His Parting Message To The Nets

“You don’t want to stay? We don’t want you.”

Allow me to interpret:

“I’m not going to the Nets game tonight and my message to the Nets is goodbye.”

Your message should be more like, “lololololol you’re so bad at basketball.”

“You don’t want to stay? We don’t want you. Seriously, I’m not going to be in the business of begging people to stay here.”

No, I mean, it wouldn’t make any sense for you to try and convince a massive revenue source and taxpayer to continue adding value to a stadium built with your constituents’ money.

“That’s one of the most beautiful arenas in America they’ve had the chance to play in.”

The Prudential Center has all the warmth and character of a colonoscopy.

“They want to leave here and go to Brooklyn? Good riddance, see you later. I don’t have any concerns about it, and I think there will be some other NBA teams who may be looking to relocate…”

Ask Kevin Johnson about what it’s like to bring the Maloofs to town, Governor.

“…who look at that arena…”

And have acid flashbacks to the last time they were in a Home Depot. (Did I mention that the Nets’ star point guard constantly complained about how much he hated it?)

“…and look at the fan base here in the New Jersey/New York area…”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s fight for an audience with one of the most popular franchises in sports (the Knicks) and a team owned by Jay-Z!”

“…and say this is an opportunity for us to perhaps increase our fan base and try something different.”

Like convincing Cory Booker to play shooting guard.

“There will be no tears shed on my part tonight.”

“Not until after Mitt Romney calls, anyway.”

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