Animals·Posted on May 2, 201318 Animals Trying To Sell You DRUGSCome sit with me on my Doritos-dusted paisley couch.by Kevin TangBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail Pssst! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF HAY KID Wanna buy JRUGZ?? ??? Touch this throw rug, man. Just feel it. Isn't it soft?? No rush. Let me put on this dank song for you. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF View this track on SoundCloud w.soundcloud.com Unknown Mortal Orchestra, "Ffunny Ffrends" OK, here's the deal: I have three marijuanas. Actually, 12 mari-huanas. All of the mari-huanas. Don't buy from that other crimepunk in a Toyota. Look at this face. Can this face tell a lie? Nope. We're good? Follow me down this creepy gutter. Have you ever wondered this? No? OK, sorta running out of awkward small talk here... So... Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Five? You said five, yes? Excellent. Here are your drugs. That will be 3 billion dollars.