I have no idea how I exist as an adult human who consumes food and didn’t know most of these, and yet here I am. No shame about not knowing these.
1. Brussels sprouts are actually little nubs that grow on weird long stalks. They look like that stick with bells on it that Mannheim Steamroller plays for Christmas songs.
2. Pineapples grow out of a short freakish plant on the ground WTF WTF WTF?!?!?!?
4. Artichokes are actually the stiff outer petals around a flower. A flower! Who knew?!
6. Asparagus comes straight up out of the damn ground like the hand popping out of the grave at the end of Carrie.
(Spoiler alert? Sorry.)
7. Kiwis grow on vines and are cultivated like grapes. Kiwi vines!
10. Cocoa beans for chocolate grow inside bright pods on a tree.
11. Celery is a big leafy flowery sprawly thing.
13. Saffron is the little orange stamen of a special kind of crocus flower.
14. Bananas grow in clumps on tall plants (technically not trees) around a flower spike.
15. Peanuts grow as gross little dongles off the roots of the plant in the ground.
17. Cantaloupes grow on the ground like a pumpkin (did you think they grew in trees? I sort of did. I think if I thought hard I’d know they grew on the ground, but my gut said “trees.” Oh well).
18. Capers are the unopened bud of a pretty flower (note the little green balls).
To harvest them, they flood the bogs and do this:
Yeah, yeah, everyone knows how cranberries grow. I just wanted an excuse to use this GIF.