Stop Slicing Fruit Like A Friggin Caveman

We don’t live in goshdang caves anymore, so why are you cutting your food like you just discovered fire? Instead of just a knife and a cutting board, fill up your kitchen drawers with a whole array these incredibly specific items that do one thing and one thing only!

1. Pineapple slicer. Don’t slice your ‘napples like a Neanderthal.

ID: 537892

2. Another pineapple slicer

ID: 538799

3. Strawberry stem remover, duh.

ID: 537936

4. Single cherry pitter

ID: 538777

5. Multi-cherry pitter, for a true pitboss.

ID: 538858

6. Banana slicer

ID: 538815

7. Banana slicer - this one slices whole ‘nas at once.

ID: 538833

8. Peach wedger. Not for apples, mind you, just peaches.

ID: 538784

9. Avocado pitter/slicer combo. Dang those pits!

ID: 538792

10. Mango splitter. What, you split your mangoes with a knife? Get the fuck out of my office.

ID: 538808

11. Strawberry slicer

ID: 537885

12. Starberry slicer with irresistably cute strawberry shape:

ID: 538811

13. File folder-style tomato slicer. I guess you still have to use a knife like a rube, though.

ID: 538818

14. Lettuce knife - I have NO idea what this even means

ID: 538828

15. Dessert knife. Wait, isn’t this just the lettuce knife in pink?

ID: 538830

16. Tomato huller. Did you know tomatos had hulls? Me neither, but I’m disgusted by them now.

ID: 539031

17. Melon tickler

ID: 538832

18. Herb scissors. Not regular scissors. For herbs.

ID: 538837

19. Kiwi guard. Protect your ‘wis.

ID: 538845

20. Lemon wraps. Like a condom for your lemons.

ID: 538853

21. Lemon squeezer. Actually, I have one and use it all the time. Great tool.

ID: 538896

22. Lime squeezer. No, you cannot just use your lemon squeezer, idiot.

ID: 538892

23. Orange squeezer. Do I have to explain everything?

ID: 538898

24. Apple corer/medieval torture device. This won’t look weird at all on your countertop.

ID: 538907

25. Spiral vegetable slicer. Only a jerk would cut straight carrot slices.

ID: 538915

26. Jalepeno corer

ID: 538918

27. You’ll need the jalepeno corer for your special jalapeno popper roasting rack, of course

ID: 538930

28. Grapefruit sectioner. Get rid of your serrated spoon, n00b

ID: 538990

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