Erotic Fanfic About Bono In The Style Of "50 Shades Of Grey"

Today is Bono's birthday. In honor of him, please enjoy this 50 Shades of Grey inspired fanfic.

Don’t look at me like that, you know what you did. Those big blue eyes will get you nowhere. How can I forgive this? Stop with that luscious lower lip. No, I don’t want to taste it. You didn’t consider my feelings at all. Stop batting your eyelashes at me….I’m livid that you shrunk my favorite sweater in the dryer……

You’re watching two squirrels chase each other in the yard with amused interest. You grab my hand to show me the patterns they run. Your childlike wonder never ceases to turn me on.

When you take your shirt off during a song, I see the mark I left on you last night. Passion overtook me, and I lost myself in the moment. Tonight, I will trace it with my fingers and lips - ever so gently.

This sofa is where you first held my hand. This sofa is where you sang me your first song. This sofa is where you kissed me for the first time. It was here where we took each others innocence on a warm summer night so many years ago.

We picnic in the park in the shadow of the San Remo; no one recognizes you without those glasses, not even your own neighbors. We spend the afternoon lying close on the checkered blanket, watching the swans swim round and round the lake. They mate for life - God, I just want you for right now…

I come home to find you in my dress and several beers. You say something about finding your feminine side before bursting into an off key version of “I am Woman”. With that devil’s grin, you offer me what’s under the dress. How could I refuse?

“C’mon, it’s time for bed,” you smile. When the elevator doors close, you snap my garter. “Tonight, you leave these on.”

After you draw a bath for me, you slowly wash my hair with essential oils of mint and rosemary. As I shiver in the cooling water, you ask, “Are you cold?” I respond quietly, “No, I’m lonely.” Shrugging off your robe, you join me.

We sit on the seawall and eat the tuna fish sandwiches you made. You cut the crust off of mine, and I love you for that. After we shed our clothes, we make love in the chilly waters. Some nearby dolphins watch us.