1. You absorb everyone’s emotions.
You already know what everyone around you is feeling because you’ve soaked it up with mood osmosis.
2. You’re highly empathetic.
So much that if you see something bad on the news, you imagine what it feels like and think about it for days.
3. Teachers tried to help you “overcome” whatever they thought you suffered from.
A+ for not understanding about 20% of your students.
4. Making a decision takes forever.
Menus are your personal first-world-problem nightmare.
5. Noise is your mortal enemy.
Every day is a cacophony of chewing, honking cars, and gum snapping.
6. Especially loud talking.
Can we reinstate six-inch voices? No?
7. And open-office plans.
Oh god I can’t focus.
8. You prefer cozily lit environments.
And struggle to explain why overhead lighting is the worst.
9. You need time to decompress.
And be away from others, if only for a little bit.
10. Mean internet comments make you really sad.
11. You have a creative job or hobbies.
Where else are those feels going to go? Feels camp?
12. You prefer exercising alone.
Otherwise the feeling that someone’s watching you takes over your focus and you topple over faster than Jenga next to a shake weight.
13. You startle easily.
Probably because you were a spooked horse in a former life.
14. And avoid violent movies and TV shows.
Fewer heads get chopped off on Bob’s Burgers.
15. You’re very polite.
Because you have the blessing and curse of extreme self-awareness.
16. And never say what you mean.
So you don’t hurt others’ feelings. (But you sometimes envy those who do.)
17. You also have a hard time saying “no.”
And usually end up in situations that aren’t nearly as fun as being tucked away in bed.
18. You’re more susceptible to pain than others.
Physical and emotional.
19. You notice subtleties others don’t.
Like on-screen continuity errors or details that might incriminate others in crimes.
20. And notice mistakes faster than others.
Just contain the superpower or you’ll be sitting alone at lunch.
21. People tell you to not take things so seriously.
Oh, OK. That was easy!
22. People tell you to toughen up.
Hadn’t thought of that in my decades of possessing a forebrain, but thank you for the suggestion.
23. People tell you to fuck it.
Done and done, except for the part where you know you’ll ruminate on what’s bothering you until your brain wears itself out.
24. And mistake your sensitivity as a weakness.
Just because you’re a little more delicate doesn’t mean you’re not resilient!
25. Music and art and movies can move you to pieces.
Excuse me while I pretend to scratch my eye when my favorite band plays my favorite song.