1. What's the deal with sport peppers?
Are they supposed to taste like football?
2. I bet everyone wants to hear a joke about ghosts, right?
That's the spirit!
3. Does anyone know what you call your undead boyfriend?
Zombae.
4. What's up with trail mix?
It's just M&Ms with obstacles, am I right?!
5. I saw a beaver movie last night.
It was the best ~dam~ movie of the whole year.
6. You know those Russian dolls? I'm really starting to hate them.
They're so full of themselves.
7. So last night my best friend auditioned to be a trumpet player in an orchestra.
He blew it.
8. What's the deal with Tiger Woods?
He's not even a tiger.
9. I was trying to get breakfast this morning, but when I saw the prices I was like...
Holy crepe!
10. What's the deal with English muffins?
They're just bread.
11. Shout out to all the people who don't like to exercise.
You're not lazy, you're in the fitness protection program.
12. Does anyone know how heavy you have to be in order to be a heavyweight?
Heavy.
