18. Chris Brown
17. Shia Labeouf
16. Madonna
15. Usher
14. David Cross
13. Rihanna
12. Pharrell
11. Jorts Costanza
10. Taylor Lautner
9. David Beckham
8. Mark Wahlberg
Evaluative notes: Wahlberg has a long-standing relationship with jorts, one documented from the early '90s on. You can't fuck with that.
7. Danny McBride
6. Zachary Quinto
5. Kevin Smith
4. Bill Hader
Evaluative notes: Mesmerizing.
3. Nathan Fillion
2. Zach Galifianakis
1. Paul Rudd
Evaluative notes: Rudd is a gifted jorts-wearer. He is the Sheryl Sandberg of jorts — he really leans into wearing them. Cocksure and bold, Rudd stretches and preens in his jorts like a prize-winning turkey. Well done.