1. It’s almost summer! Season o’Romper!
2. To the Forever 21!
3. Rompers are like dresses that you can actually bend over in!
4. Actually, just kidding. That is definitely not the case.
5. Where does the word “romper” even come from?
6. Romp in the hay?
7. Or are they called “jumpers”?
8. Do I look like I’m 5 years old in this?
9. But, like, in a good way?
10. Are rompers more “dressing for girls”? Or “dressing for boys”?
11. Rompers are not made for people with long torsos. Helloooo camel toe.
12. I feel like boys don’t understand these.
13. Maybe I don’t understand them either.
14. Like, how am I supposed to pee in this?
15. I guess I have to get totally naked?
16. That sucks.
17. My boobs are going to get cold.
18. Getting naked every time I have to pee = definite bummer.
19. Please do not see my naked chest through the crack in the stall, lady who just came in to pee.
20. Oh great, now it’s touching the bathroom floor.
21. There are probably now traces of pee on this romper.
22. And now that I’m wearing a romper all I’m going to be thinking about is how much I have to pee.
23. Do not drink that water.
24. Do not drink that coffee.
25. Skipping the smoothie today.
26. Think I could get away with just pulling the crotch to the side when I pee?
28. WHY HAS SOMEONE NOT INVENTED A PEE-FRIENDLY ROMPER?
29. (I’m looking at you, Marc Jacobs.)
30. Can I wear this romper in winter? With tights?
31. Ugh, then I’d have to take off the romper AND the tights when I pee.
32. Are rompers supposed to be fancy? All those fashion girls are wearing them with their shiny hair and shiny high heels.
33. Are rompers work-appropriate? Something tells me… no.
34. Is there such a thing as a “conservative” romper?
35. This one barely even covers my butt.
36. Rompers kind of feel like you’re just wearing underwear.
37. Even though they look nothing like underwear.
38. But, I mean, they’re not too skimpy, right?
39. Is this supposed to be worn outside?
40. I feel a tiny bit like a grown-up baby in a giant onesie.
41. But like, a cute giant baby.
42. Oh romper, I wish I understood why I loved you so much.
43. Despite your inability to fit on my body properly.
44. Or accommodate my bladder.
45. You’re so cute.
46. I’m going to buy you.
47. But first, I’m going to pee.