Other Possible Shane Battier Defenses Against Flopping:
• My sources at CERN kept telling me we were getting close to the Higgs Boson. I literally went weak in the knees every time I thought about it.
• I had stayed up all night re-reading Freedom the night before. It was hard to stay awake and on my feet, but it was worth it. Patty is just so interesting.
• I was trying to demonstrate the trajectory of the Eurozone crisis should the European Fiscal Compact fail. Me falling down was a metaphor.
• I was telling James Harden why the health care law would be ruled constitutional, and he didn't want to hear it — James is a small government guy — so he knocked me down.
• Michael Lewis is writing another New York Times article about me, and I wanted to make sure my charge-taking game was strong. So sue me.