Shade 1: Not Purple
Shade 2: Shadowy Not-Purple
Indicates: Slight irritation.
1. Shade 3: Reddish-Violet
Indicates: Annoyance with a dumb shit interviewer.
Shade 4: Magenta
Indicates: Precarious happiness.
2. Shade 5: Darker Magenta
Indicates: Happiness fading to anger.
3. Shade 6: Light Mauve
Indicates: A poor read by the quarterback.
4. Shade 7: Dark Mauve
Indicates: “A shitty read that leads to a shitty interception thrown by some dumb shit kid I wish I never met.”
Shade 8: Plum
Indicates: “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
5. Shade 9: Violet
Indicates: Gastrointestinal issues.
Shade 10: Indigo
Indicates: “The potential loss of scholarship for some mouth-breather.”
Shade 11: Lavender
6. Shade 12: Orchid
7. Shade 13: Wisteria
Indicates: Surprising joy.
8. Shade 14: Byzantium
Indicates: Great vengeance and furious anger.