What All Dads Are Like, According To Father's Day Cards

Beer and naps. Lots of naps.

Dads are lazy. So lazy that they have to invent things to aid in their supreme laziness.

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It's like MacGyver, but instead of saving the world, they're saving themselves the trouble of getting off the couch.

Dads fart. A lot.

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And they make weird smirks while they do it.

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As well as disrupting the tranquility of nature.

Dads are not very good with grills or fire.

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(Which could also be interpreted as a fart joke.)

A dad's favorite thing to do is nothing.

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Which he would do more if he wasn't always being bossed around by his wife.

Dads love naps.

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But even more than that, they love pretending that they don't love naps.

The easy chair is a dads favorite place...

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...even if they don't always know how to use it.

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The best part about being a dad is that you can just watch TV for hours.

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Dads love beer.

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They really love beer.

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Dads love saying cliche things about money.

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When they're not sleeping, Dads are ALWAYS fishing.

Dads need really basic instructions on how NOT to be a dad.

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Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Otherwise they might let the baby drive the car!

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Or blow up the toilet! Or cut carrots with a chainsaw and terrify their daughters.

If you have a dad that's not a lazy beer-drinking sack of potatoes that walked ten miles in the snow to his fishing hole when he was a kid, consider buying him one of these cards instead.