1. OMG I’m going to get so toned.
2. I hope I’m in the right room.
3. I better get the good mat.
4. Ugh all the good mats are gone.
5. Why didn’t I bring my own mat?
6. Oh, right, because I don’t want to be one of THOSE people who carry a yoga mat everywhere.
7. I bet most of those people don’t even go to yoga.
8. Am I too close to the lady next to me?
9. I don’t want to accidentally Warrior 2 her in the face…
10. I need to sit next to someone really good so I can copy them.
11. Because I have no idea what any of those poses mean when they say the real names.
12. If that lady with the see-through pants is in front of me again, I swear.
14. Am I supposed to say it in my head or out loud?
15. Is it supposed to tickle my throat when I say om?
16. Sun salutations are definitely my thing.
17. I love saluting that sun.
18. Repetition is good.
19. At least by the last one I remember the order.
20. Wait, am I doing it wrong?
21. I have never seen a dog that looks like this.
22. Am I doing it wrong?
23. Do you think anyone is looking at my butt?
25. Oh yeah, the breathing.
26. I can barely do this while remembering to breathe at all.
27. Oh my god how are they doing that?
28. I don’t think my body bends like that.
29. It doesn’t look like a crow.
30. How are they even human?
31. Knees/chest/chin? How about knees/thud/ floor.
32. Is it Shavasana yet?
33. Oh, tree pose.
34. I got this one.
35. Am I doing it wrong?
36. Am I the only one doing it wrong?
37. Is everyone here an acrobat?
38. Did I accidentally come to a Cirque du Soleil class?
39. I think my legs are uneven.
40. Maybe one of my hips is higher than the other.
41. That’s why I can’t balance.
42. Yeah, that’s probably it.
43. Wait, I didn’t hear that one!
44. What are we supposed to be doing??
45. That looks crazy.
46. Nope, I don’t think I have that muscle.
47. You have got to be kidding me with that.
48. Where are your ribs supposed to go???
49. Welp, that hurt.
50. Did everyone hear that thud…
51. If the goddess intended us to be upside down, we would have feet for hands.
52. Gravity is a real bitch.
53. Wait, I think I can do this.
54. Ahhhhh, I’m doing it!
55. Actually this feels really good!
56. I feel so powerful!
57. I feel like I’m flying!
58. Oh no, it’s starting to burn.
59. My body is on fire.
60. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing!?!
61. OH HELL YEAH, SHAVASANA
62. I earned this.
63. I won’t fall asleep.
64. I won’t fall asleep.
65. I won’t fall asleep.
66. Is there an hour long Shavasana class?
67. Wait, that’s just a nap.
68. Why don’t I take naps more often?
69. God these clothes are comfortable.
70. I should go to yoga every day so I can wear these clothes.
71. Or maybe I should just wear them anyway.
72. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.
73. Then I’ll be “READY” to go whenever.
74. And I will.
75. I totally will.
76. As soon as everything stops hurting.