jortsweek

26 Things That Would Have Been Better With Jorts

Besides literally everything.

Buda Mendes / Getty Images

1. Adam and Eve

Things might have gone better if the original sinners were never-nudes.

2. That Gotye Song

“But you didn’t have to cut me off” [Pans down to reveal jorts]

3. The VMAs

Neilson Barnard / Staff / Getty Images

You can blur lines, but you can never blur jorts.

4. The Statue of Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to wear jorts.

5. The Drawing Scene in Titanic

Twentieth-Century Fox

“Draw me like one of your French jorts.”

6. Pharell at the Oscars

Michael Buckner / Getty Images

If you’re gunna go casual, take it all the way.

8. The Bill from Schoolhouse Rock

ABC

The committee on jorts is always in session.

10. Paula Deen

Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images

Them are jorts, ya’ll.

11. Marie Antoinette

Let them wear jorts.

14. The Royal Wedding

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

No one would be looking at her hat, that’s for sure.

15. The Little Mermaid

Disney

Step 1: Get Legs. Step 2: Put jorts on them.

16. The Kidnapping of Patti Hearst

17. Lady Godiva

Everyone knows you shouldn’t ride naked on a horse.

18. Beyonce

Buda Mendes / Getty Images

JK BEY YOU’RE PERFECT DON’T EVER CHANGE.

*hides from Solange*

19. The Louisiana Purchase

It was already a good deal. But it would have been a GREAT deal if jorts were included.

20. Tonya Harding

Simon Bruty / Staff / Getty Images

10.0 for jorts!

21. Lindsay Lohan’s Mugshots

Handout / Getty Images

22. Sex and the City

HBO / etsy.com

Miranda would never wear jorts, though.

23. The Moon Landing

NASA / Hulton Archives / Getty Images

One small step for man, one giant leap for jeankind.

24. Every Different Sport

ESPN

25. The Mona Lisa

Although, who’s to say this *~didn’t~* happen.

26. Barney

AND A TINY ADORABLE SELENA GOMEZ ALSO IN JORTS.

Case closed.

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