1. You really need a new lipstick, so obviously you’re headed here:
4. But still, the lighting feels like a nightclub:
9. WILL THIS BE THE MASCARA THAT MAKES MY LASHES INTO PERFECT MAN-BAITING SPECIMENS??
10. ISN’T IT DUMB THAT THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY MAKES WOMEN FEEL INADEQUATE IF WE DON’T HAVE $100 FACE CREAM??
11. But anyway, you just need your lipstick. The salesperson repeatedly asks if you have any questions and you’re like, “it’s cool, I’ve shopped for makeup before.”
12. You’re like, I’m getting out of here spending $20, MAX.
13. But first you want to look around, so you spray on a few different perfumes and start to feel nauseous:
14. You paint your index finger one color and your middle finger another, and know you’ll just have to remove it later:
16. You try to get to the lipstick section, but you notice a woman applying the sample eyeliner directly to her eyes and freak out.
Because EYE GERMS. Use the disposable applicators!
17. Six more salespeople ask you if you have any questions.
18. You finally find a lipstick that’s not a) $60 and b) that the salesperson swears looks good on you.
19. So you leave the store wearing all of your tester makeup and perfume, and you feel like:
20. They gave you one of those teeny tiny shopping bags that’s somehow crammed with a whole ream of tissue paper.
21. Then you get home and conclude that Sephora has MAGIC FAIRY LIGHTING, because the lipstick that looked good at the store now looks like:
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