I think it’s because there’s a major disconnect between what men perceive happens and what does happen. We keep on hearing “Come on, if a stranger told me I looked nice, I’d be flattered!” I hear once in awhile I look nice (though as a large woman, the street harassment I receive tends to be of a far different flavor - usually “Lardass”, “Whale”, “Pig”, “Kill yourself”, “Disgusting Sow”, etc.). I am not bothered by strangers saying “That smile brightened my day” or “You have such beautiful hair”. Random compliments from strangers can be very pleasant, provided they are compliments. - Being told I’m helpful or sweet when I hold a door open or help someone reach something on a high shelf implies agency on my part and is a genuine compliment. I have done a thing to earn a compliment. - Being told that I have a nice accessory or piece of clothing implies agency on my part and is a genuine compliment, as long as it is a compliment of taste, rather than of body. For example, “That is a beautiful necklace!” rather than “Your boobs look great in that top!” - Being told that I have a nice feature in a non-sexual way does not exactly imply agency on my part, but it still complimentary, because it is individual, and I have likely cultivated it to some extent (grooming, exercise, posture, practice of some sort). For example, having nice hair is part genetics and part grooming. - Being told that I am sexually pleasing by a stranger is not complimentary because it implies no agency on my part and no individuality on my part, only that I fall into that individual’s sexual preferences. I have done nothing to do that, besides exist, and as I do not know them, I have not cultivated the feature they prefer with any idea of being pleasing to them, or to anyone but myself.