Comedy·Posted on Oct 29, 201532 Tweets About Alcohol That'll Actually Make You Laugh"The best kind of alcohol is a lot."by Jarry LeeBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. PapeяWash© @PaperWash Alcohol: have a beer Me: no I have work in the morning Alcohol: ok Me: I'm hungry Alcohol: have a beer Me: ok Alcohol: have 10 more Me: ok 06:17 AM - 18 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Pumpkin Spiceotope @BuckyIsotope *picks up beer* SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE STUPIDITY, EMBARRASSMENT, UNPLANNED URINATION, BLEEDING, AND EARLY DEATH *drinks beer* Excellent 06:56 PM - 23 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren when u get too drunk at the club and everyone is like ummm lets get u home 07:48 PM - 14 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. sara @SomthinBoutSara My favorite drink is "Wow! There's alcohol in that? I'll be able to drink several of those". 09:17 PM - 20 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. emily axford @eaxford So much of being an adult is bringing a bottle of wine someone brought to your house to someone else's house 11:10 PM - 25 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn How I significantly improved my Netflix 11:37 PM - 06 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Laura Benanti @LauraBenanti The bad thing about mimosas is that they have too much orange juice in them. 08:19 PM - 04 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Jen Lewis @thisjenlewis Liquor before beer, in the clear. Wine before whiskey before beer before whiskey before rum before beer, I'm an idiot. 12:24 AM - 27 Apr 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. pakalu papito @pakalupapito the best kind of alcohol is a lot. 03:14 AM - 15 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. scarysauce @trojansauce DATE: ill have a dry white wine please ME: yeah ill have a wet one, thanks 07:22 AM - 13 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. DaddyJew @DaddyJew Guests: I brought you some non-alcoholic wine Me: oh excellent *pours it down the sink without breaking eye contact* 09:19 PM - 27 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Trevor S @trevso_electric A hangover is just your body reminding you that you're an idiot. 02:38 PM - 29 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Count Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott Home remedies: 1. Common cold - alcohol 2. Allergies - alcohol 3. Sun burn - alcohol 4. Hiccups - alcohol 5. Feelings - alcohol 11:50 PM - 19 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. moody monday @mdob11 Me: I'm definitely over him Wine: No 08:43 AM - 19 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Fred Delicious @Fred_Delicious Who called them drunken texts and not remorse code 11:21 PM - 06 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. brent @murrman5 [ordering wine while on date] do you like merlot, tammy? "yeah but you don't pronounce the T" ok *looks at waiter* 2 merlot for me and ammy 03:57 AM - 22 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. anti joke apple @antijokeapple alcohol is not the answer alcohol is the question, yes is the answer 10:52 PM - 03 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47 "I can do that. Hold my beer" - My last words, probably. 07:45 PM - 18 Jun 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Sage Boggs @sageboggs Ahhh yes of course, I adore wine. I especially love [looks down at bottle of Pinot Grigio] peanut Gregorio 04:10 PM - 19 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Nicole Betz @TomHanksIsHot Alcohol is like a push-up bra for your personality. 02:55 AM - 21 Apr 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. EnvyDaTropic @envydatropic If training for a triathlon doesn't include drinking margaritas and taking naps then that clearly explains why I'm not in training 01:59 AM - 13 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Amanda Hugnkiss @caliluvgirl77 *Tries to blow breathalyzer* breathalyzer: I have a girlfriend 05:19 PM - 23 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Ian Karmel @IanKarmel 22 year old me after a night of drinking: "I hope I didn't do anything stupid." 29 year old me: "I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike." 05:55 PM - 26 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. lawblob @lawblob my favorite drinking game is PacMan. you drink everything in front of you as fast as you can before your ghosts catch up to you 11:05 PM - 17 Jan 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. an actual ghoul @TheDreamGhoul the guy at the liquor store didn't card me and it hurt my feelings so I said I was a cop and idk what to do next we're just standing here 12:20 AM - 17 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Kyle Kinane @kylekinane The way nerds fear for the zombie apocalypse is the way actual drinkers feel about St. Patricks Day. 04:54 PM - 17 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. ♡ Man Who Loves U ♡ @SortaBad You're drunk and trying to outrun the cops on horseback but they eventually catch you because it turns out you're just on a carousel 12:45 AM - 06 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. dan mentos @DanMentos I wonder if twins ever get really drunk and forget which one they are 10:51 PM - 27 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. jomny sun @jonnysun *pours a alcohol on the grounde* pour one out for my homies *my homies r all the rocks on the ground* heck yea ha ha no stone left unturnt 05:14 AM - 01 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin This could just be the wine talking but I USED TO BEEEE GRAPESSZZZ 03:14 AM - 08 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. philippe iujvidin @philyuck *twins come out holding beer bongs* Oh they're fraternal. 08:49 PM - 11 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit Scientists say men who drink beer daily reduce their risk of heart attack. As for livers, scientists said "fuck livers" and then high-fived. 06:28 PM - 28 Mar 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite