1.
Who is the idiot that called it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
2.
4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math
3.
POLICE: knock knock DRUG DEALER: who's there P: weed DD: weed who P: we'd like to come in and arrest you DD: lol good one, come on in
4.
i only go on ebay after i smoke pot that way i'm always the highest bidder thank you check please
5.
Live every day with the confidence of a 15-year-old who's smoked pot twice talking to a 15-year-old who's smoked pot once
6.
*police dog smells weed* whoever smelt it dealt it damn ur right *dog goes to prison*
7.
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
8.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
9.
me: what time is it? tour guide: 4:20 me: how can you tell? tour guide: See how high the sun is? [sun is eating spaghettiOs with a spatula]
10.
Boss: Are you high? [Me watching him evaporate] I hope so.
11.
No dude named Josh has ever confidently taken a drug test
12.
4:35 blaze it sorry traffic was crazy
13.
people who celebrate 4/20 already smoke pot every other day i don't make up a holiday for jerking off & crying in the shower wtf
14.
i hope i made these pot brownies right
15.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don't have Cancer! Me: So it's working...
16.
I wish my grades would smoke weed so they could get higher.
17.
It pisses me off when I see people dress like this, yes, we get it, you smoke weed...
18.
if you have weed in your system, there's no telling what you're incapable of doing
19.
'wake and bake' means smoking marijuana in the morning, but it's also a way too casual term for a cremation ceremony
20.
do you smoke pot because weed be cute together
21.
Stoner costume idea: smoke weed with four of your friends and go as a "high five"
22.
Attention passengers: we have reached a cruising altitude of "high af"
23.
It's really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you're buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos.
24.
BEWARE: smoking weed can have dangerous side effects, such as never shutting the fuck up about the fact you smoke weed
25.
They say Marijuana is a gateway drug? To what? Taco bell?
26.
*Sprays weed killer at a local drug dealer* NOT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD PAL
27.
Some people like to stir the pot... ...I prefer to smoke it.