Here's St John's Church in Edinburgh. Looks like any ordinary church, right?
WRONG. There's a bloody bench on the roof.
Look at it. There's a bench, on the roof of the church, about 30 feet off the ground. How?
The bench was spotted by Graeme Sneddon and he sent photos to the Edinburgh Evening News. They reported: "Somehow, and we're not quite sure how, a bench has ended up on the roof of St John's Church at the west end of Princes Street."
Well, Edinburgh Evening News, that doesn't quite cut the mustard. We had to find out exactly why a bench was on the roof of the church.
A BuzzFeed News investigation began immediately.
@ChurchofStJohn Hi, can you say anything about the bench on your roof please? Interested to know how it got there. Thanks.
In an investigation of this nature, clarity is key.
@ChurchofStJohn just for clarity, this is the bench I'm referring to. Thanks.
But every person who could possibly provide answers was staying quiet. Too quiet.
The office of the church which has a bench on its roof is closed. What are they trying to hide?
Photographer Graeme Sneddon appeared to have fled the country. The man who knew too much?
People rushed to rule themselves out of the act.
Wisnae me... How did a bench end up on Princes Street church roof? http://t.co/5DMs2nNA3y
While others declared it a miracle.
@edinburghpaper And has raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus
All of a sudden, we managed to get hold of photographer Sneddon from his Edinburgh hideout, where he took this photo.
Sounding confused, he told BuzzFeed News: "I saw it from the window opposite. I have no idea how it happened, it's unbelievable. It's about 30 feet up, and it's obviously not fallen or anything because it would have gone through the tiles."
We asked Sneddon to look out his window to check the current status of the bench. "It's still there," he said. "It's still there."
Then, after a short investigation, the Scottish Episcopalian Church press office provided us with this statement: "We believe this is an act of vandalism or a prank which is being investigated."
However, so far, no one has managed to offer a coherent theory as to how and why the bench managed to get on top of a 30-foot-high roof.
How is there a bench on this roof?
Why is there a bench on this roof?
We demand answers.
UPDATE: According to the church choir, there are now "at least TWO benches" on the roof of St John's.
We now discover that there are, in fact, at least TWO benches clambering up @ChurchofStJohn. @JamieRoss7
Despite my increasingly desperate pleas, the choir insist they have no idea how the benches got there.
@jamieross7 we don't know either! We turned up to sing and there they were. @ChurchofStJohn