In her defense she's pretty hot.

We all knew the day would come when she sunk so low she had to star in an ABC Family movie role usually reserved for Melissa Joan Hart. I just didn't think it would happen this quickly.

At least someone at the BPD has a wicked sense of humor, as opposed to say, when they shut the city down over a couple of misplaced ATHF lite-brite sets…

You win Beth.

Um, thanks BuzzFeed. I posted this like two weeks ago. How come it wasn't good enough to make the front page then? Not that I'm bitter or anything. Still love you though!

Also, it's funny how ridiculous quotes sound when taken out of context. I should be a professional pull-quote writer.

Ha.. that “audience member” that Whitney at Pop Candy sites is me! Except I wasn't an audience member, I just watched the live stream of the show… anyway I was the one who compiled all those various sources into one place for people originally… because I'm a dork.

It'll never be as good as Catbird Seat's original hipster bingo.

The girls in PDX love singer Israel (whateverhislastnameis). It's unreal to see them and the reaction he gets. It's like Justin Timberlake or Tom Jones or something. I heart the girl in the band - she plays the bazouki and banjo.

Yeah definitely Clusterflock, it's their anyone can post to the site account … also I love being 8 hours late to the party and offering nothing new.

Except of course, Pains of Being Pure at Heart!

I wonder what site started this, because they popped up on April Winchell's blog, as well.  Though no one that has these Mp3s seem to be citing where they found them. It looks like they were posted right around the same time as each other.  Also? This is some funny as shit and I can't wait until it gets remixed to death.

Translation: I engaged in behavior which was regrettable (not really since that night was awesome) and demonstrated bad judgement (by letting some asshat take a photo of me ripping bong hits). I’m 23 years old and despite the successes in the pool (c’mon it’s me we’re talking about here! I just won 8 freakin’ Gold Medals at the Olympics. I’m an athletic hero to millions), I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way (only if you count the groping that went on later that night!) not in a manner people have come to expect from me (especially grandma who was totes disappointed in those photos. Grandma, I’m sorry). For this I am sorry (not so much but you’re buying this right? Right?) I promise my fans and public that it will not happen again (it will, but that I’ll be confiscating camera phones beforehand so this type of awkward photo doesn’t make the papers again). [Sly Oyster]