Joan Rivers Hilariously Planned Out Her Own Funeral

“I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents.”

1. Joan Rivers, who died on Thursday at 81, made a joke of everything, including her own funeral. In her 2013 book, I Hate Everyone…Starting with Me, she outlined her wishes, as Mashable’s Brian Ries tweeted.

Berkley Trade

2. “When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, camera, action…”

 

3. “I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way.”

4. “I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents.”

5. “I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’”

6. “I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.”

Time Out / Via youtube.com

7. “And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s.”

8. May all your wishes come true, Joan.

Comedy Central viadoyouremember.com

 

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