Johnny Depp was recently given an ultimatum by the Australian Department of Agriculture — remove his dogs he brought to the country illegally, or they will be euthanized.
But the Department won't stop there. There's a few more illegal animals in Australia that need to be #exterminated.
1.Aww, cute! A poodle! NO DOGS. Kill it.
2.Fucking bats? Don't those have rabies too? And turn people into vampires? Dead.
3.This isn't goddamn America, home of milk, and cheese curds, and too much dairy for the human body to consume. Kill the damn cow.
4.What the hell are you supposed to do with a rhinoceros in Australia? Kill it.
5.YAKS? Fuck that.
6.Send this whale to Sea World, where it'll get killed anyway.
7.The Owls of Ga'Hoole was a shitty movie so now all owls must die.
8.And this stupid hawk. It's basically an owl.
9.How many times is this kid gonna turn into the same hawk before he gets the message that hawks get killed in Australia too?
10.AMENDMENT: ANYTHING THAT FLIES DIES.
11.Even if ants can't fly, they're bugs, so they can die too.
12.Fucking beavers look like rats. Gas them.
13.What kind of horror movie shit is this? A giant squid?! 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
14.NO ALIENS — actually, maybe aliens are okay. This can live.
