1. The true meaning of “lying down on the job.”
Weekends, emergencies, and “just because.”
2. The heart palpitations that happen every time an amazing car flies past.
3. Always being on your neighborhood’s bad side for the noises coming from your garage and the cars pulling out of it.
4. Always keeping an extra bag of kitty litter in the garage.
Even if you don’t have a cat, there’s nothing like it for oil spills.
5. Saying you’re going shopping and showing up either at a junkyard or a dealership.
6. But also amassing a giant collection of broken parts.
And you keep saying “I’ll fix it someday,” “This bumper was on my first car! You don’t just throw something like that out,” or “You can’t put a price on memories.”
7. Having almost as many gloves as tools.
Latex gloves, while delightfully disposable, disintegrate in oil. Nitrile’s cool unless it’s for heavy lifting with rough surfaces. Cotton’s great for… eh, just collect ‘em all.
8. But still being the proud owner of the world’s filthiest pair of hands.
9. Treating every moment behind the wheel like the final lap.
10. Having to explain, “Yes, I’ve used all these tools” every time someone steps into the realm.
Or the need to announce, “Yes, I know where everything is.”
Well, except for that oooneee screw…