1. You've never eaten a sandwich that wasn't an ice cream sandwich.
2. Rare is still too overcooked for your taste.
3. You know the pizza delivery guy on a first-name basis.
4. "Inedible" doesn't exist in your personal dictionary.
5. The only green things you eat are peanut M&Ms.
6. This is your idea of a gourmet meal:
7. You don't drink with straws. You drink with Twizzlers.
8. You've eaten enough animal brains to prefer one kind over another.
9. "All You Can Eat" isn't a promotion. It's a personal challenge.
10. You only eat Sriracha. You only drink Sriracha.
11. There are enough crumbs in your bed to make a full meal.
12. When you ask if you can have someone for dinner, you, uh, really mean it.
