9 Mind-Blowing Battles That Need To Happen RIGHT NOW.

The key to victory is putting together the perfect team.

1. G.I. Joe vs. Team America World Police

PICK: Team America

G.I. Joe has one weakness: They don’t like to kill anyone. Team America has no such compunctions.

2. Care Bears vs. My Little Pony

PICK: Care Bears

The ponies have the magic of friendship on their side, but the bears can “stare” deadly lasers out of their bellies. Terrifying!

3. Destiny’s Child vs. TLC

PICK: TLC
Not even close. Not only will Lisa Lopes burn down a house without blinking a left eye, but remember the “Waterfalls” video? All three ladies can cloak like the Predator.

4. Voltron vs. Megazord

PICK: Tie

We’ll say it: They’re kind of the same guy.

5. Beacontown Beavers (from Teen Wolf) vs. Super Globetrotters

PICK: Super Globetrotters

The Beavers, like the old Cleveland Cavaliers, are a one-wolfman team. Get that guy in foul trouble early, and the ‘Trotters don’t even need to use their superpowers. And yes, they all have superpowers.

6. Transformers vs. Go Bots

PICK: Transformers

Obvs.

7. The Illuminati vs. Men In Black

PICK: N/A

Neither of these groups exist. Shhhhh.

8. Jem and the Holograms vs. Josie and the Pussycats

PICK: Jem and the Holograms

Bonus points to the Pussycats for Valerie, the first African American character in Saturday morning cartoon history. But it’s not gonna be enough because Jem is truly outrageous. Truly, truly, TRULY outrageous.

9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Wu Tang Clan

PICK: Wu Tang Clan

EPIC battle: Ninjitsu vs. Shaolin! Splinter vs. Rza! The sewers vs. Staten Island! Ultimately, though, expect the Wu Tang Killa Bees to swarm, as Leonardo and pals signed their own death warrant when they teamed up with Vanilla Ice. Tiger style!