The Definitive Guide To Hosting A "Great Gatsby" Themed Party

Ain’t no party like a Great Gatsby party cuz a Great Gatsby party is…(SPOILERS). posted on

1. Have an extravagant mansion. And a pool. And a Zebra (floatie?).

2. Prepare elegant hors d’oeuvres and authentic desserts.

3. Have fun dressing up!

Feel free to take cues from the movie on this one.

4. Maybe avoid green strobe lights?

Art by Kate Beaton.

5. Invite lots of shallow people that know nothing about you.

6. But not the woman you love.

7. Never introduce yourself to anyone.

8. Spend the whole party crying on the inside.

9. Don’t forget to invite that annoying friend who never shuts up and who is always just around, lingering. They’re gonna hear about it anyway.

10. Walk around saying “old sport” a million times in a stilted accent and see how long it takes before someone loses it and kills you.

11. Play rap music whenever a black person appears.

12. Relatedly, feel free to make whatever music you want the soundtrack of the party. Anything mildly jazzy. Or not. Just whatever you feel.

13. Stand around gripping the static image of the past that you’re so desperately holding onto.

Take casual sips from your drink and hope the fireworks in the background distract from your slow descent into madness.

14. Maybe don’t plan your party by following Leo’s lead?

15. Actually, yeah maybe just dont have a party at all… Has anyone read the book?

16. Spend all the energy you would have put into a party into making sure everyone knows you’ve read the book.

17. Opine on the death of literature.

18. Never die. Defy all known properties of the universe. Become a metaphor.

Dave Allocca/DMI/Time Life Pictures / Getty Images / Getty Images

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