1. This classically trained Schnauzer
Good lord, she’s not even looking at the music. Now she’s just showing off.
2. This PhD-having cat
Dumbledore just got tenured at Yale AND caught a duck all by himself.
3. This mad scientist terrier mix
Kafka is wearing machinists’ glasses and hanging out in a library. Why? Because he’s building something. What? What is he building?
4. These award-winning puppies
If you look closely you’ll notice those trophies are for speed-reading.
5. This overachieving bunny
Bernie is a five-time Jeopardy champion. And not Animal Jeopardy, either — regular human Jeopardy.
6. This massively smart Mastiff
Sam is successful enough now that he can hire other dogs to bark at skateboards while he grows his business.
7. This hella smart elephant
Scarlett is not only an acclaimed minimalist painter, but she’s also street smart and a pinnacle of her community.
8. This organized troupe of macaques
It’s next to impossible to coordinate a huge family road trip, so Jacques gets it done with the help of online scheduling tools… that he designed himself.
9. This nuts-about-reading chipmunk
If that doesn’t impress you, consider that he’s reading in Latin.
10. This millionaire recluse
Kimmy doesn’t like to talk about it, but she actually made a fortune during the Great Recession.
11. This no-bull bulldog
Cerberus knows that nothing’s smarter than eating healthy.
12. This hardworking hen
Roxanne works her butt off at her catering job all day. At night, she writes excellent, marketable screenplays and rotates her eggs.
13. This cool, calculating Chihuahua
Does it intimidate you that Consuela is 6 weeks old and can already work an abacus? It should.
14. This strategically minded intellectual
Of course Dustin can beat the chess computer. Dustin programmed the chess computer.
15. This bird puppet who gives thanks to Enrico Fermi
The turkey is fake but the physics is very real.
16. This scholarship-receiving, Exeter-educated Westie
Walter’s favorite subjects are digging, barking at ghosts and Keynesian economics.
17. This nationally ranked chimp champion
On the other hand, Hector can’t be that smart: He’s smoking.
18. This efficient-packing pachyderm
Kayla not only knows how to pack light to avoid baggage fees, but she’s saved up enough miles to upgrade to business class. Because honestly, coach was gonna be a bit of a tight squeeze.
19. This outraged monkey
Lazlo cannot BELIEVE the sorry state of American poetry these days.