1.
When trains go wrong, it is every man for himself.
2.
The tube map is in no way geographically accurate.
3.
Sometimes, the train just doesn't stop, and you don't even have enough energy to be mad about it.
4.
It doesn't matter how many bags of shopping you have or what shapes you have to contort yourself into: you MUST stand on the right.
5.
The only seat worth your time on the DLR is the front because you are the driver.
6.
In South London, trains turn up when and if they want to turn up.
7.
The door buttons are just a test to alert people to the presence of a tourist.
8.
London has never seen snow before.
9.
There is a zen state, almost like stasis, that you enter between the hours of 4pm and 7pm on the tube.
10.
Only a seasoned commuter knows how to be on a bumpy, old train and do mascara at the same time.
11.
Sometimes it's just easier to get the tube from Tottenham Court Road to Oxford Street than it is to actually walk down Oxford Street.
12.
A single empty seat is empty for a good reason.
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