Fat Guy Sues White Castle For Not Making Their Booths Big Enough

This lawsuit comes with a jumbo side of deep-fried sadness balls. Martin Kessman is a 290-pound stockbroker in New York who is suing White Castle because he couldn't comfortably fit into one of their booths. We don't deserve to live on this planet anymore.

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  Martin Kessman, human symbol of our decline as a species. "They’re stationary booths," Kessman told the New York Post.  "I’m not humongous (but) I’m a big guy. I could not wedge myself in."