1. Create a distraction
Remember in Do the Right Thing how Mookie threw that trash can through that window? Who’s to say he wasn’t about to get his toot on? This technique is also called “changing the narrative.”
2. Find the nearest parade
This one takes a little advanced planning, but so does eating four chili dogs. Also, if you have your own bagpipe and are part of the parade, you are doubly safe.
3. Crack open a soda
For bonus points, have an animal open a soda. Then if there is an olfactory component to your conundrum you have a built-in patsy.
5. Turn it into a beat-boxing routine
Nobody will hear your over the wild applause.