1. BAM! ZIP! POW! This intense Batman collectible will have Asher mumbling "thanks" before he disappears into his room with the door closed for several hours!!
2. You remember when Legend of Zelda was just a text-based top-down dungeon crawl. You don't recognize the Link of Cole's generation, with his masks and his fancy spin moves.
3. This looks nothing like a pelican. Clearly you are missing something. Anyway, get it for Jaden and he'll look up from his phone when you speak to him...for like a week.
4. Fallout 4, huh? Seems to you that if you're playing a tabletop game after living through three previous fallouts, you're probably a cockroach. But Dalton will sit still for it, so...
5. Remember how little Harper's face used to light up whenever you walked into a room? Give her this Vault Boy replica and she'll acknowledge your existence, which is sort of the same.
6. The big guns. There's no way you can go wrong with an Xbox Elite bundle. The thing looks like a damn sports car. Actual human interaction with Diego, here we come!
7. When Kacey says the "look sensitivity" is more customizable on the "D pad," which helps her "grind" faster in "MMORPGs," just remember that her GPA is good and she didn't get her eyebrow pierced.
8. Make a joke like "Alyssa, I am your father" in your best Vader voice when she opens this. You might get more than an eyeroll. Maybe.
9. When you had the gall to suggest that Parker play with blocks, he looked at you like you were crazy. Now he puts this Minecraft light on his Christmas list? Whatever, just get it for him.
10. At least you can play this version with Chelsea. When you tried to play the Halo video game you accidentally threw a grenade at her and she didn't talk to you for three days.
11. Nothing bonds the generations like Star Wars. If by "bonds" you mean you get to watch Bryson play it for a full 30 minutes before he peevishly asks you to leave the room.
All images courtesy of GameStop