1. When they hired this paid spokesperson...
2. ...who apparently was getting a ton of work from Nintendo back then.
3. When they thought this was actually a good idea.
4. When they put gaming in terms only a teenager would understand.
5. When they brought up the other things you do with your hands.
6. And suddenly made this realization...
7. When Atari placed these unfortunate pixels.
8. When this picture perfectly captured your childhood.
9. When Sega decided that sex sells waaaaaay better than video games.
10. Which obviously led to this tagline.
11. When the battery struggle hit way too close to home.
12. When they straight-up called you a "weenie."
13. When ad space became the battlefield for an all-out console war.
14. And brutal conflict ensued.
15. When you learned more about people than you really wanted to know.
16. When video game ads instigated "the talk" with your parents.
17. When they told everyone how excited you were about the new release.
18. And when they prophesied your future.
