1. Have one player you know something about.
This is LeBron James aka “King James”. He is very good at basketball. He used to play for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Now, he plays for the Miami Heat. He’s a Capricorn. (Just repeat those facts over and over until the sports conversation is finished. Maybe not the Capricorn part.)
2. Dress with pizzazz
Paint your dumb face. Wear an embarrassing hat. Everyone will think you care.
3. Marry an athlete.
If you marry an athlete, you’ll have a personal connection to the game and everyone will think you’re TOTALLY into sports. (F.Y.I. This one also involves a life-long commitment, if that’s an issue.)
4. Stand-up and chant “DEFENSE”.
Pro-tip: wait for someone else to start the chant.
5. Say, “I’m just worried they’re not going to be hot going into the post-season” in response to everything.
Example questions: “How was the game?” or “How was the defense?” or “Are you thirsty?”
6. Stand-up and cheer.
Feel free to zone out or talk about your favorite reality show. But, keep one ear open. When the crowd goes crazy, so should you.
7. Choose a team to hate.
You don’t need a reason. Just choose one to dislike passionately.
8. If you can’t choose a rival team to hate, hate the referee.
Why? They make bad calls and RUIN winning.