England’s Shin-Kicking Championship Is Not For The Thin-Skinned

This post will change your life.

The 401st shin-kicking championships just wrapped up in the English town of Dover’s Hill. For the uninitiated, the concept is pretty simple.

You kick at your opponent’s legs until they fall.

Event chair Graham Greenall: “It’s a skillful sport.”

In theory, most people would go down on the first swift strike, so the rules allow for competitors to stuff their pants with straw.

One strategy is to find an opening where your opponent tries to avoid your kick and loses balance. But sometimes, you just need to keep kicking away.

Defending champs don’t often return the next year, since most of them never walk again*, but 24-year-old Zak Warren came back for another go-around.

* We’re assuming.

Despite his lack of pants, Jeremy Soper made it all the way to the finals, where he met Warren, by tying grocery bags around his legs and stuffing them with straw.

Someone in the crowd lent Soper some trousers, but it didn’t help him in the finals against Warren, who kept his crown after this brutal sequence.

Just goes to show, everyone is good at something.

Just don’t say it’s not a “real” sport while around any of the contestants, because they’ll kick you in the shins and you’ll die.

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