Jack MacLaren is probably wishing he was Tom Hanks' character from Cast Away right now, living on a faraway deserted island with only a mediocre volleyball to which to answer.
The Ottawa-area Progressive Conservative MPP apparently made some pretty inappropriate jokes about his federal colleague, Liberal MP Karen McCrimmon, at a fundraiser last month — and now everyone knows about it.
The Carp Fair was hosting a ~men's night~ where female volunteers serve dudes dinner (there's a ladies' night, too). The event raises money for cancer.
"It is a place the overly sensitive and politically correct would be wise to avoid," the West Carleton Review wrote.
MacLaren, according to the Toronto Star, was speaking to his fellow lads when he asked McCrimmon to join him onstage.
Here's what happened next, the Star reports:
He “put her on the spot” over the impact on farmers of federal Liberal capital gains tax policy. He made a comment about her body, then shifted to stand behind the MP, saying, “I’m not getting behind you.” He then read off a joke about McCrimmon and her husband that referenced their sexual relationship, according to several who attended the fundraiser at the Carp Agricultural Hall.
Apparently, MacLaren used McCrimmon and her husband in a rendition of this Irish joke (h/t David Reevely):
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
People were like:
When MacLaren finished speaking, the whole room was like:
"You notice when a room with 350 people in it is going quiet," Coun. Eli El-Chantiry told the Ottawa Citizen.
MacLaren's colleagues are not happy with him. Lisa MacLeod, the PC MPP one riding over, tweeted this after the Toronto Star story came out Wednesday:
@karenmccrimmon I'm very sorry you had to endure that. #beher
A federal Conservative MP then tweeted her support for McCrimmon, too.
@MacLeodLisa @karenmccrimmon ugggh. I'm sorry Karen. Total crap.
PC Leader Patrick Brown condemned MacLaren's comments as well. "There is no room for misogynist comments in our caucus and party," he said.
MacLaren reportedly told the Star that he apologizes "to those who were offended."
