1. The “Australian Gentleman”
When to use: If you’ve just met your first Australian person or want to impress any Australian person ever, use this face and that accent. Can also be used to sound worldy in front of well-traveled folk at bars or parties.
2. The “Crap Trap”
When to use: If you happen to shit your pants, you probably just made this face. Good luck to you, sir.
3. The “Decisions, Decisions”
When to use: If someone says anything that’s remotely pleasing, use this face.
4. The “Delectable Darlooney”
When to use: If you’re nostrils flare uncontrollably and you realize you’re in a 2-mile radius of Krispy Kreme, this face will happen naturally.
5. The “Germaphobe Hater”
When to use: If you want anyone in the room to feel generally disgusted by you, do this all over the place. It could also be used to get out of class or anything else in life for that matter.
6. The “Good Gets Better and the Better Gets Best”
When to use: If you’re suddenly taken aback by your own sheer level of genius or you’ve stumbled upon a Chili’s, you’re allowed to make this face.
7. The “Hold Up, Wait a Minute”
When to use: If you’ve just given the wrong answer in front of a large group of people or realized the question was actually rhetorical, you’re definitely making this face right now. Just let the heavy weight of your shame sink in. Could also be used if you’ve accidentally crossed the line of insults in an argument.
8. The “Hmmm, Tough Stuff”
When to use: If you’ve recently been presented with two or more equally fantastic options for the weekend, you can make this face whilst deciding between them. Snack options applicable here as well.
9. The “Hug, Madame?”
When to use: If you want to make any person in this world feel uncomfortable, take this guy out for a spin.
10. The “I’ll Be Here All Night or at Least Till 9:30”
When to use: If you’re incredibly late to a wild party and you want to blend in upon arrival, this should be your first choice. Party goers will be so overwhelmed by the amount of energy your body’s giving off, they’ll have no choice but to excuse your tardiness.
11. The “I’ll Take What I Can Get”
When to use: If one of your good friends cooks you a nice meal and it tastes terrible (like borderline glued-to-the-toilet, food-poisoning terrible) use this face to confuse them into thinking you still have an appetite.
12. The “Imma Do Me Today, but Thanks”
When to use: If your pal asks you to go on a jog and you realize you’re too out of shape to even exercise the idea, use this face.
13. The “Impressed Ian”
When to use: If your house pet gets ballsy enough to shit on the carpet while your parents are in plain sight, it’s totally acceptable to make this face.
14. The “In Yo Face, Biaaaaaatch”
When to use: If you’ve just single-handedly won the most intense round of Catch Phrase or it’s your roommate’s turn to buy the toilet paper, use this.
15. The “It’s My Low Blood Sugar Speaking, Not Me”
When to use: If you’ve been waiting on a friend or family member for more than 9 minutes in any situation, you’ve got the right to express yourself in this specific way.
16. The “It’s Smau-g Not Smog”
When to use: If you’ve just pronounced “Nepal” as “nipple” or “subtle” as “sub-tle” while reading aloud in front of any number of people, chances are you’ll make this face as soon as you’ve finished.
17. The “I Wouldn’t Mind Getting the Fuck Out of Here, Thanks for Asking”
When to use: If you’ve just been graced with the presence of a rodent or someone farted in your elevator, this is what you should do.
18. The “Jovial Explosion”
When to use: If you’re goal is to seduce the pantsuit off of any human being at anytime, this seems like your best bet. Work that magic, fool.
19. The “Lavish Lady”
When to use: If you’ve witnessed someone or something that’s particularly fancy or you’re trying to do an impression of a particularly fancy person, this will never fail. Can also be used if said fancy person is a showboatin’ motherfucker.
20. The “Let’s Dwell in this Moment, Shall We?”
When to use: If you’re ordering at Starbucks and the barista remembers your name, someone gives you the tiniest semblance of a compliment or you see an old man wearing a bucket hat, you’ll do this.
21. The “Listen Up, Lassies”
When to use: If you’re in the middle of winging a wedding speech or you’ve totally flown off the handle straight into crazy town, this should be your go-to.
22. The “Me Happy”
When to use: If someone who normally gives you shit presents finally hits the jackpot, don’t hold back. Can also be used to show appreciation for any and all dessert foods that may arrive at or around your table.
23. The “Moving on with My Life”
When to use: If someone’s spit lands on any area of your face while talking or the conversation becomes completely intolerable, this is the only way to respond.
24. The “Momma Likes What Momma Sees”
When to use: If your pheromones are exceptionally fragrant one evening, you’ve just turned in your thesis project or you’re standing in front of a buffet, please use this face.
25. The “Musty Dumpling”
When to use: If your love of condiments has finally reached it’s peak, feel free to try this one out. Beware of mixed flavors and/or an emotional breakdown.
26. The “Nauseous Nancy”
When to use: If your find out your ex has acquired a new lover or there’s a pube in your food, this face might be the most appropriate face to use.
27. The “Never Ever Again”
When to use: If someone dares to awake you from your sweet, sweet slumber, you’ve got this and only this to use.
28. The “No, Please No”
When to use: If a chain of white lies you started has recently unraveled or a friend tells your family that one spring break story, you’re gonna make this face involuntarily.
29. The “Oh, This Old Thing?”
When to use: If a co-worker notices you got a trim or you’ve lost more than 3 pounds of something other than water weight, show off this dazzling look. Also used if your date messages you directly after you leave that fine steak dinner.
30. The “Ribbon Winner”
When to use: If you’ve suddenly come up with the best fucking idea you’ve ever had in your entire life, try this out for size. Would also be fine used consistently with lots of smaller, mediocre ideas to trick people into thinking you’re one clever bat.
31. The “ROFL, but Not Literally”
When to use: If someone texts you something that makes you LOL, literally, or you’re suddenly interested in looking like an asshole, this is the way to go.
32. The “Sad Face Guy :-(“
When to use: If a friend or total stranger pours their heart out and you’re unsure of how to react, you could try this? Also appropriate in introductory meetings with babies or three-legged animals.
33. The “Say Yes to a Dress and Other Nice Things”
When to use: If you’re wearing pointy boots or you’ve been single for an awkwardly long period of time and someone, anyone, hits on you, you’re probably excited do this.
34. The “Shake Señora”
When to use: If you’ve ever held a pair of maracas in your entire life or it’s Thanksgiving and you’re not a vegetarian, you can’t help but doing this.
35. The “Smart Aleck Baldwin”
When to use: If someone much older and wiser than you asks you a difficult question and this is one of those very few times you have the answer, don’t be afraid to use this face.
36. The “Slow-Mo”
When to use: If it’s announced that “the kids eat first” at the family cookout or your Dad asks you to to pick up sticks in the yard for an extra buck, then fails to pay you, this face is acceptable.
37. The “Sorry, What’s That Now?”
When to use: If you find a Groupon deal with a sizable discount, you’ve won an office award you weren’t aware you were nominated for, or someone you can’t hear has repeated themselves for the third time, do this thing.
38. The “Surprised Susan”
When to use: If any hot, hot lady or man crosses your path, definitely do this. The more dramatic, the higher the chances of you getting noticed but probably still rejected are.
39. The “That Was Nice What You Did There”
When to use: If your significant other makes a terrible joke that’s so bad you’re embarrassed for them, distract them with an overly aggressive embrace. Don’t let go. They’ll be too terrified to try again in the future.
40. The “Thirtsy Shirsty”
When to use: If your thirst has recently been quenched by a fountain Sprite, this is the face you were 100% making beforehand.
41. The “Totally, Me as Well”
When to use: If you happen to find yourself in a situation surrounded by any of your parent’s friends or any old people, fear not, old chap, this face will do all the work for you.
42. The “Turn That Frown Upside Down, Partner”
When to use: If your chess strategy is unfolding exactly as you’ve planned or you’re just a creepy person in general, smile slowly like this.
43. The “T. Reckless”
When to use: If you’re impersonating a dinosaur, that’s literally the only time you should ever use this face. Don’t treat it as a party trick.
44. The “Two Can Play This Game”
When to use: If the sound of someone’s voice drives you into a state of craze and total darkness, this expression is your best bet. You can also use it around people who chew really loudly.
45. The “Ultimate Relief”
When to use: It’s probably best to save this face for moments of sheer ecstasy.
46. The “What? What Are You Saying?”
When to use: If you stumble upon someone who is speaking another language, this face can help communicate your confusion. Also fine to use if you’re sitting next to a loud whisperer and you no longer feel comfortable partaking in that very short-lived conversation.
47. The “Who Goes There?”
When to use: If you’ve heard an unidentifiable noise or a blood-curdling scream and you’re in your house alone at night, this face will definitely not make you feel any better. But it’s all you’ve got right now.
48. The “Whoops I Did It Again”
When to use: If you’ve just missed your straw multiple times, everyone around you saw this face. Just look down, IT’S FINE.
49. The “Yes and Yes”
When to use: If you’re covering a karaoke song so flawlessly that birds everywhere stop chirping, this is what you look like currently.
50. The “You’re Welcome, Pal”
When to use: If you accidentally belch in front of someone and they’re totally appalled, belch one more time and then make this face.