I would be a killer dude
1. First and foremost, we have all prepared or are currently preparing to meet our “soulmate.”
Getting dressed up for Home Depot is a necessary evil.
2. We know that somewhere in the cracks and crevices of this planet lies a person who’s only slightly less funny than us and makes excellent guacamole.
We will wait for you.
3. And if we don’t find that person soonish, at least 15 years, it’s fine. We can take care of ourselves while we keep waiting.
4. Not to get nit-picky but kissing is actually a hobby. It should be in a separate category like cat fishing* or collecting thimbles.
The real or virtual kind.