The DOs And DON'Ts Of Meeting The President

Be punctual. The White House waits for no man...except maybe Elvis Presley. Elvis & Nixon, coming April 22!

1. Do get an invitation. Don't just walk up to the gate!

What are you, some kind of crazy dreamer? You crazy dreamer, you.

2. Do write the president a note, and use your fanciest handwriting.

He's the president. He deserves curly, beautiful g*ddamn letters.

3. Don't go power-tripping and making outrageous demands.

We'd all love a three-day workweek and chocolate fountains on every street corner, but BABY STEPS.

4. Do dress ~appropriately~.

Find that sweet spot between "baller suit" and "one ruffled blouse too many."

5. Don't flirt with the secretaries.

Especially if you're wearing a man scarf. Can you even really flirt in a man scarf? Debatable.

6. Weapons are a no-no. Duh.

SMDH.

7. What did we JUST SAY.

Please don't bring any weapons into the White House. Please.

8. Don't drink the president's soda.

What if all day he were thinking, When I'm done, I'll reward myself with that soda. YOU JUST TOOK THAT FROM HIM.

9. At the very least, share your soda with him.

YOU'RE MAKING A MESS OF THIS WHOLE THING.

10. Do keep it humble.

No one likes a braggart, and his job title beats your sad little knuckles any day.

11. Anything veering on menacing will not be taken favorably.

You know, like claws. Or tigers.

12. Don't get physical with (and this is just common sense) THE PRESIDENT.

Unless it appears to be cathartic for the president, in which case, knock yourself out.

13. Probably don't need to specify this, but no karate in the oval office.

Ha. We did. We did need to specify it. sigh

14. Do find ~safe~ ways to show your appreciation.

Ways that won't have the secret service knocking you on your velvet-covered ass.

15. You get one photo, so make it count.

Not too tight a grip. But not too loose either. You must have the Goldilocks of grips.

16. And always finish strong.

It's been a weird day. But, hey! You met the president of the United States!

There's a lot you shouldn't do, unless you're Elvis Presley meeting with President Nixon. (True story!)

National Archives / Getty Images / gettyimages.com

Don't miss Kevin Spacey and Michael Shannon in Elvis & Nixon, premiering April 22!

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All images courtesy of Amazon Studios and Bleecker Street.